Dr Feelgood Page 19

  Afterwards, we collapse in a tangle of exhausted limbs. Warm air envelopes us, and it feels sticky yet dirty and sensual.

  “That was amazing,” I say as my breathing settles.

  “Incredible,” Ridge growls, pulling me in for a kiss. “What else is on that list Dee gave you?”

  I grin. “You’ll find out when you’re ready.”

  “Really?”

  “I like it better when you don’t expect it.”

  He laughs, nuzzling my neck. “I’m always down for surprise sex.”

  But then there’s the burp of a siren and a flash of light. It’s a cop car going by, and we jump to action. Ridge helps me back into my chair and folds up the blanket before loading up the car. Back at home, we settle in for bed, both spent and sated.

  Ridge kisses my hair as he falls asleep. I drift off soon after, with only one thought on my mind: I’m in love with Ridge Maddox. But where does our future go from here? We can’t completely come out while he’s still employed by the hospital because they’d have a shit fit if they found out he’s dating a patient. But when will my man start his own practice? Hopefully sooner rather than later.

  26

  Ridge

  “We could be good together,” coos a female voice.

  I swivel around, my heart sinking. It’s Candy. Shit. I should’ve known she was somehow behind all of this.

  “It’s over, Candy. In fact, we never really dated. I think I’ve made that very clear.”

  She rolls her eyes. “You’re only interested in the cripple because she’s a fun new project. Once her legs work again, you’ll get bored, and I’ll be here waiting for you.”

  I have to take a deep breath to prevent myself from doing something stupid. “We’re never getting back together, Candy. That’s final and the sooner you accept it, the easier it will be.”

  She makes a face.

  “When you lose your license, you’ll change your mind.”

  I glance down at the letter in my hand. How did she know about this letter from the hospital board? Evidently, they have some questions about my employment.

  “I can’t believe you would sabotage my career over jealousy,” I say slowly.

  Candy laughs. “I didn’t do anything. You sabotaged your own career by sleeping with a patient. Did you really think no one would find out?”

  I glare at her.

  “What we do on our own time is no one’s business but ours.”

  She rolls her eyes.

  “It’s the hospital’s business when it breaks pretty much every rule we have.”

  She has a point, but it’s a stupid one. The rules are in place to prevent doctors from preying on their patients, but that’s not what’s happening here. Summer and I are two consenting adults, and it shouldn’t be a problem for us to date if we want to.

  Then again, I could have waited until she was no longer a patient to make a move. That would have leant some clarity to the situation. Or, we could’ve gone to the board immediately when we realized our connection was so strong, and before the relationship became physical. They would have had her sent to another doctor, but at least they would have been informed.

  I see now that my biggest mistake was trying to keep it a secret.

  “How did you find out?” I ask Candy, unable to keep the dread from sinking to my stomach. “Did you see us out somewhere or something?”

  She shrugs.

  “It wasn’t even that hard. Your chatty girlfriend spilled everything to Danielle. They didn’t realize I was in the room at the time, and I heard every word.”

  “So you decided to share what you heard with the board?”

  Her eyes have guilt written all over them. “You shouldn’t have dated her. You should have dated me, so you only have yourself to blame, Ridge.”

  I am the one to blame here, and I see my mistake now. I went about seeing Summer the wrong way, and unfortunately, my enemies got wind and ran with the ball.

  “You’re really fucked up, you know that, Candy?” I spit. “Stay away from me. I never want to see your face again.”

  Her face crumples momentarily.

  “Ridge, please. I only want what’s best for you.”

  I laugh bitterly. “The only person you love is yourself. Stay. The fuck. Away. From. Me. And leave Summer alone, too. I’m going to make sure the hospital keeps you off any rotation that involves PT.”

  She rolls her eyes.

  “Whatever, you know I hate walking down there anyway.”

  “Screw you, Candy.”

  She gapes at me, but I stride off before she can dig herself even deeper into this hole. I’m mad at her, I’m mad at myself, and I’m mad at the hospital to boot.

  But most of all, I’m scared. Not scared that I could lose my license. I’ll be devastated, but I’ll survive.

  I’m scared of what Summer will say when she finds out.

  The drive from the hospital to her apartment is a blur. I’m on autopilot as I run through my lines in my head. I can’t let Summer think this is her fault, and need to choose my words carefully.

  I pause outside the door to Summer’s apartment to gather my thoughts. Oh shit, here goes. With a deep breath, I unlock the door and walk inside.

  “Hey!” Summer says from the kitchen. She’s in front of the stove balancing on her crutches while stirring a pot of pasta. “I’m making dinner, and it’s going to be really yummy. You’re right in time.”

  My girlfriend looks so proud of herself, and I’m proud of her, too. Summer’s made so much incredible progress over the last few months that it’s amazing. Now, she sometimes uses crutches to help her hobble around, although the wheelchair remains a back-up. Soon, she’ll be walking unassisted, much to my pride and joy.

  As a result, there’s no way I can tell Summer right now because she’s too happy. She’s independent and making us dinner just because she can, and I won’t ruin her good mood with my news.

  I kiss Summer’s cheek. “Whatcha makin’ sweetheart?”

  “Chicken parm,” she says, gesturing towards the oven. “I hope you’re hungry.”

  “Starving.” I try to smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes, and Summer can tell. She knows me too well and sees right through my bullshit. She eyes me suspiciously.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” I lie.

  She drops the spoon into the pot. Water splashes to the floor.

  “Don’t lie to me, Ridge. What’s going on?”

  I don’t want to tell her because it’ll crush her to find out that our relationship is about to be dissected. In fact, it could very well be over, if I want to continue to earn a living.

  But I need to tell her because it affects her almost as much as it affects me. I just can’t tell her right now.

  “Let’s have dinner first,” I say, buying some time. “I’ll tell you after, I promise.”

  Summer isn’t convinced, but my words appease her temporarily. She returns to dinner with a smile, and it kills me that I’m about to destroy that happiness.

  I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

  “You’re the most important person in my life,” I murmur into her ear. It’s a mild version of what I actually want to say.

  She twists her head and smiles as me over one shoulder.

  “You are, too, Ridge.”

  We kiss tenderly and Summer returns to cooking, although I can see her thinking. She’s a little on edge, and I understand why. I’ve indicated that there’s some bad news on the horizon, and she’s sensitive to my words. It might be even worse when she finds out what happened today, and I hope she blames me and not herself. After all, it’s my fault, not hers.

  I move to the table while Summer finishes up cooking. It’s a bit awkward, the way she needs to use the crutches while trying to juggle multiple pots, but I love watching her work. It’s such a difference from where she was when we first met.

  I flash back to that day. I was entranced by Summer th
e second she rolled into the physical therapy room. She was mad at the world and she didn’t believe anything I said. I tried to promise her that we’d figure out her mental block, and I meant every word. I don’t think she believed me until she started to feel her legs again, or until she took her first steps since the accident.

  To this day, she’s captured everything I have. I can’t imagine my life without her. And now, more than ever, I need her by my side. I won’t be able to face the hospital board without her.

  “It’s ready,” she says, averting her eyes. She prepares a plate for me in silence.

  “Summer,” I start.

  “Don’t,” she replies quietly. Her eyes avoid mine, focusing instead on the drained pasta in front of her. “After dinner, okay?”

  My heart clenches. I should’ve told her right away, but now, what if she’s so mad that she wants to leave?

  I wouldn’t be able to handle it. If Summer left me, I wouldn’t know what to do with my life. Without her, I’ll have nothing. I’ll be nothing because existence will be utterly meaningless.

  We eat at the dining room table in silence and it’s awkward because usually, we’re full of talk. After all, this woman and I share everything and it’s part of why we work so well together.

  “How was your day?” I ask, trying to break the strange tension between us.

  “It was fine,” she replies, still looking down.

  Summer doesn’t ask how my day was in return. Just as well because I’d have to say it was terrible, and then she’d want an explanation I’m not ready to give.

  “Did you do anything interesting after PT?” I ask.

  “Nope.”

  The silence ensues. Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I wanted a nice dinner before all hell broke loose, but that’s not happening.

  “So,” I say, taking a deep breath. “I have to appear in front of the hospital board.”

  Summer stares blankly. “I don’t know what that means.”

  I shake my head.

  “Candy cornered me last week, trying to get back together.” Summer’s face flashes with anger. “I told her I wanted nothing to do with her and left it at that. Then today, I got a letter from the hospital discipline board. It turns out that Candy heard you telling Danielle about us a few weeks ago, and went to the hospital with that information.”

  Summer gasps.

  “No,” she says with tears in her eyes. “I’m so sorry, I got you in trouble. I shouldn’t have told Danielle.”

  I take her hand. I knew she would try to blame herself for this.

  “This is not your fault, sweetheart. We knew the risks when we started dating. I can handle the board.”

  “But you might lose your license.”

  I pause.

  “Yeah.”

  “No wonder you’re upset, and I’ve been a bitch too.” She buries her face in her hands. “I shouldn’t have blabbed to Danielle. First I ruin your career, and then I’m a jerk when all you need is comfort…”

  I stroke her brown curls.

  “Shhh, no. I should’ve just told you. I didn’t want you to be upset, not when you seemed so happy making dinner. And you didn’t ruin my career.”

  She shakes her head, wiping her eyes. “This is my fault. If I’d been a little more discreet …”

  I stroke her cheek, looking into those big brown eyes.

  “You were talking with a friend, and that’s not a crime. If you’d known Candy was around, you wouldn’t have said anything. She’s a sneaky one, and this is not on you. It’s on Candy and it’s on me.”

  She pauses and then meets my eyes.

  “Do you regret being with me?” Her voice is so small and weak that it shatters my heart.

  I shake my head hard. “Not even a little bit. You’re my everything, Summer. I love you.”

  The words slip out. I didn’t mean to say it like that. I wanted the moment to be more special, over a romantic dinner with flowers and candles. I had a whole big plan, but now it’s out. Her caramel eyes melt.

  “I love you, too,” she murmurs through tears.

  My heart swells. “You do?”

  She smiles. “I do. I have for a long time.”

  “That means the world to me, sweetheart. You mean everything to me, and we’ll get through this somehow, okay? The sun will still rise and the Earth will still turn. We’ll figure it out.”

  We stare at each other, our faces hopeful even as everything seems to collapse around us. Yet, it doesn’t matter. I didn’t imagine what it would feel like to hear those words from Summer, but now that I have, I want to keep hearing it.

  “I love you,” I say again, enjoying the taste of the words. I lift my curvy girl to her feet, and she holds onto my shoulders to balance herself. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” I murmur into her ear.

  Summer stands on her tippy toes to kiss me. “Keep saying it because I’ll never get used to it. I’ll never be tired of it.”

  “I love you,” I repeat.

  “I love you, too.”

  We kiss again, slow and steady like we have all the time in the world. I forget for a second that my world imploded just an hour ago.

  Summer reaches out and squeezes my hand as we pull apart. “We’ll be okay, Ridge. Whatever happens with the hospital, we’ll get through it together.”

  Her words are simple, but coming from Summer they mean everything. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose my license. It’s not like I have any other marketable skills, so I guess I’d have to find another trade and figure out a new life. But I can do it. I know I can, as long as I have Summer.

  “Thanks sweetheart,” I say. “It’s good to know you have my back.”

  She smiles sweetly.

  “I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. I love you too much. You’re stuck with me, got that?”

  I kiss her forehead. “And you’re stuck with me.”

  “I love you, Ridge.”

  “I love you, too, Summer.”

  The problem is that love doesn’t make the world go around. I hate being a pessimist, but usually it’s cold hard cash that makes the difference. Without that, can our relationship survive? Will Summer really come with me if I’m a man with holes in his shoes and no place to live? Maybe that’s a heightened description, but what if it really becomes true? Will I be able to depend on my girl?

  27

  Summer

  The hearing room isn’t what I expected at all. For something so major, I thought they’d have us in some kind of court-like scenario, with a raised box for the judge and a stand to the right for any witnesses. Instead, we’re seated in a no-name conference room with Ridge on one side of the table and the board on the other. Folding chairs are set up around the table for friends and family, which is good because Leo is here, as well as Tommy and Evan. Annabel took off work for moral support, but unfortunately, Dee and Liz weren’t able to.

  Ridge is wearing a suit. I hate myself for thinking about how gorgeous he looks because we’re here for a serious reason. Yet, my man looks better than ever in his dark blue suit with his black hair swept off his forehead. His pants are pressed perfectly and his jacket is tailored to fit his broad shoulders. He chose a light blue tie that makes his eyes look even more intensely cobalt.

  The room is quiet. I struggle to keep my breathing slow because I know if I start to panic, the entire audience will know, and I don’t want to embarrass Ridge or make things worse for him.

  “Dr. Ridge Maddox,” a balding man finally announces from the head of the table. “You are under review by the hospital’s disciplinary board for an inappropriate relationship with a patient. Do you understand these charges?”

  My man nods, humbled but not bowed.

  “Yes, sir.”

  Annabel squeezes my hand tight. I want to yell at the stupid board member for calling our relationship inappropriate. He knows nothing about us, so how dare he?

  “Do you swear to share the full truth with the board?”

/>   “I do.”

  “Then let’s begin.”

  Ridge steals a glance at me in the back, where I sit in my wheelchair. I offer him my most reassuring smile, hoping it doesn’t come across as terrified because I want him to know I believe in him. The board has to believe that our relationship has been fully consensual from the get-go. Ridge didn’t do anything wrong.

  “Dr. Maddox, to the best of your knowledge, when did your relationship with patient Summer Ames begin?”

  “About six months ago.”

  The board members take notes on their yellow legal pads despite this entire meeting being recorded for the record.

  “Have you been intimate?”

  “Yes.”

  I cringe. Our sex life is none of their business. I know Ridge has to tell the truth, but I wish they would leave some things out of it.

  “When was your first sexual encounter?”

  Ridge pauses here. We both know when it was, and exactly where it was too. “It was two months into Ms. Ames’ physical therapy treatment.”

  “And where did the episode occur?”

  Episode? Why does this guy talk like we’re some reality show and not a regular couple? I hate him. I hate the entire board for putting Ridge through this, but I especially hate the man asking the questions.

  “It happened in the physical therapy room.”

  Annabel squeezes my hand again. Without her, I don’t know if I could sit here. She’s keeping me sane as the board rips Ridge apart.

  “Did you touch Ms. Ames inappropriately during previous sessions?”

  Ridge’s body tenses, but he answers truthfully. “No, I did not.”

  “For the majority of the time you have been treating Ms. Ames, she has been in a wheelchair, correct?”

  “Yes.”

  “This means that Ms. Ames was unable to leave the situation if you became inappropriate with her. Is that right?”

  Ridge sits up straight and takes a deep breath.